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(not really a review, review) Gossamer: Passion Pit in Paradox

Recommended tracks: Constant Conversations, Take A Walk, I'll Be Alright, It's Not My Fault I'm Happy, On My Way, Hideaway, and all the rest lol.

Gue ngga tau ini cuma gue atau semua orang punya kebiasaan yang sama, jadi setiap gue nunggu-nunggu suatu album release, pasti saat-saat waktu sebelum gue ngeklik play streaming online rasanya deg-degan banget and at some point I held my breath so deeply (?) Nah Gossamer ini salah satunya, sejak kecanduan Take a Walk pas Juni akhir, akhirnya pas bulan Juli associate editornya Nylon ngetweet abis dengerin full albumnya yang katanya epic abis. Jadilah gue membajak lewat internet terlebih dulu. And there I sat in front of my laptop, deg-degan meskipun nggak sedeg-degan pas #valtarihour, and click play. Dan...sepertinya yang udah gue koar-koarkan di akun twitter gue, they are always as great as they have ever been. Masih pumping happy electropop banget.

Karena itu masih hawa liburan gue yang single dan pengangguran ini iseng pengen bikin review buat the Student Globe. Kebiasaan gue itu sebelum ngereview browsing dulu, biar gue tau apa yang gue tulis nggak cuma sotoy doang. Nah begitu keluar resultnya langsung yang gue buka bukan review album, tapi cover story Passion Pit di Pitchfork yang ditulis Larry Fitzmaurice. Dan asli gue tercengang aja gitu bro selama sekitar 15 menit gue baca itu artikel yang selain panjang, speedy juga kea kampret.

Begitu hari puasa terakhir gue ke aksara dan nemu cdnya langsung aja gue beli kan, nah bookletnya itu bikin terharu banget. Ini bagian belakangnya nih.


Unyu banget kan? Apalagi kalo lo udah baca artikel Pitchfork itu, pasti mau sebahagia apapun lagu-lagu Passion Pit, lo bakal pengen nangis.

Oke gue ceritain dulu deh, since ga ada yang mau dengerin gue ngebacot tentang the epicness of this album #foreveralone.

Jadi, dari Pitchfork itu gue baru tau kalo si Michael Angelakos a.k.a. otaknya Passion Pit adalah seseorang yang mengidap penyakit bipolar disorder yang udah parah gitu. Gue nggak ngerti-ngerti amat bipolar itu gimana, yang jelas si Angelakos ini kalo udah kumat kabarnya suka explode gitu dan sering banget attempts suicide terus berkali-kali masuk rehab, dari yang gue tangkep lewat Pitchfork sih doi sering banget kumat dan beberapa kali Passion Pit batalin konser karena itu. Sakit apa sih yang enak? Apalagi sakit yang berhubungan sama mental... Si Angelakos ini meskipun kerjaannya kabur mulu dari tempat rehab, tetep aja dia sosok yang inspiring banget, apalagi dia unyu abis sama tunangannya yang model itu, si Kristy Mucci.

Kalo lo beli cdnya dan mencermati lirik-lirik di bookletnya atau minimal googling lah, lo akan menemukan dan merasakan berbagai ketakutan dan kebahagiaan dia tentang hubungannya sama si Kristy Mucci dengan segala keterbatasan yang dia punya itu. Album ini terkesan dewasa banget dan sangat intimate, ditambah lagi printed dedication yang dia tulis di belakang booklet kayak makin bikin lo mikirin betapa mengharukannya kehidupan si Angelakos dan Kristy. awww :3 Kata Angelakos waktu diwawancara, Kristy itu sayang banget sama dia dan took care of him in a very best ways, hidupnya udah tergantung banget sama Kristy, dan dengan kecintaannya itu Kristy juga sangat loyal dan menjalani posisinya yang sama sekali nggak gampang itu dengan sabar. Drama banget? Tapi disitulah kenyataannya.

Dua lagu favorit gue di album ini itu Constant Conversations dan I'll Be Alright. Kalo Constant Conversations itu jatuh cinta pada pendengaran pertama banget, beneran dari sealbum yang paling ngena di kuping gue itu lagu ini, it sounds so deeply intimate for me in a way. Kalo I'll Be Alright karena segala hal yang gue baca di Pitchfork, dan liriknya yang bikin lo pengen treak UGHHH padahal musiknya bahagia banget. Segala paradoks yang bikin lagu itu makin dalem bagi gue.
"You should go if you want to
Yeah go if you want to
I'll be alright, be alright
Well I've made so many messes
And this love has grown so restless
Your whole lifes been nothing but this
I won't let you go loveless
I'll be alright
I'll be alright"
Dari reffnya, Angelakos kayak mau ngungkapin kefrustasian dia ngeliat orang yang dia cinta itu -in a way- tersakiti oleh sesuatu yang nggak bisa dia sendiri kontrol. Di lagu ini dia kayak mempertanyakan kenapa tungangannya betah banget sama dia padahal nggak banyak orang yang stick around di hidupnya. Ain't that so heartbreaking? :( He shouts "I'll be alright" almost ten times in this song, padahal dia tau alasan hidup dia cuma si Kristy, dan sama kayak quote Kristy di belakang booklet itu "but wouldn't you hurt as much as I, if I ever was to leave you?" MEEENNN parah mau berapa kali gue ngeliat 2 quote itu hati gue tetep hancur berkeping-keping meskipun gue awww-ing in another side. Ralat -berapa kali gue menghayati satu album itu- gue tetap akan trenyuh. Ini kayaknya album bergenre electropop paling dalem ever.

Terus ada juga di lagu Cry Like a Ghost, doi nyanyi gini, "You never once controlled me, while all the others told me that if I kept going I'll be dead." Gila ya, gimana romantisnya si Kristy, yang jadi alasan hidup dan alasan (maaf) belum tamatnya si Angelakos, padahal she never once controlled him. Damn. Meskipun di lagu itu yang diteriakin namanya Sylvia mulu gue gatau itu siapa, pokoknya album itu dedicated to Kristy! (loh) Pokoknya di tiap lagu kurang lebih isinya begitu lah, gue bingung masa mau gue ceritain satu-satu?

Ohiya terus ini juga unyu banget! I'm On My Way! Semacem lagu yang isinya kayak waktu doi ngelamar si Kristy, dan namanya Kristy disebut-sebut mulu "Kristina oh kristina..."
Spinning one beat, 'til I finally realize how busy I am
We're both so broken, done long hoping 
Is that we'll stumble upon our love again 
Just believe in me, Kristina 
All these demons, I can beat 'em
I'm on my way, I'm on my way 
Let's get married,I'll buy a ring and then we'll consecrate this messy love 

This is not just some bullshit from a mellowdramatic pop love songs, this is an honest words from the reality based electro-pop paradox tunes. If I were Angelakos I will stop questioning and won't ask her to leave at all, it must be heaven having someone that stays with you forever no fucking matter how fucked up your life is, and quoting Constant Conversation, "you never know where some people will go, yeah some people been hurting me." ....Who the fuck I am? sok expert abis...maaf ya Angelakos I would never know what you've been through and as one of your fan I love you so much. Hoping your words on Hideaway that "someday everything will be okay" will be eventually true.

Cause it will be :)
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