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Only Ones Who Know

"Hey don't cry..." He said. "I can't stand seeing you this way."  

"I'm sorry, I'm just being stupid." I laughed it off but tears still streaming down my cheek. 

He then embraced me so tightly. 

"It's going to be okay," he whispered, "you are one strong independent woman, right?"

"I am not when you're around tho... You said it yourself."

"But I won't be around anymore..." his voice was so soft like a whispering wind on the grass, as if he tried so hard for me not to hear it but in a way still wants me to hear it.

"I know." I grab his sleeves, resting my head on his chest -can't stand looking into his eyes anymore.

He pushed me gently, lift my head, lean down, and kissed my forehead.

"I'm gonna miss these cheeks," he then kissed both side of my cheeks.

He looked me right in the eye and said, "and this lips..." I closed my eyes as his kiss landed on my lips. A soft and slow one but made my heart aches real bad. Maybe it should've ended the harsh way, not some overly-melancholic romantic scene like this?

"Have I ever apologized? You know... for dragging you into this...this fucked up mess."

Is an apology is all that I need to hear? Do I even need one? But what else is there other than ending this sort of mistake with an apology? I shook my head. 

He hugged me again, "I'm sorry. I really do." His voice cracked a little, "but I'm still glad that we happened and you're still the best thing that happened to me last year."  

My whole body shivered. I couldn't see his face, but he said it in a way that I couldn't even dared to tell him that it was just another bullshit that he made. He told me like he really meant it, and for once I wanted to believe that his words were true. I kept my head on his chest and I wished that the world would stood still for moments like this.  

"Bullshit." I told him, crying, while still hugging him, even tighter than before.  

"You know it's true." He would usually fight me over my accusation towards him, but this time he said it almost so softly while caressing my hair. "I really mean it."  

And only Lord knows how much I really wish that he did mean it.

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