bəˈnɑːnə

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Bleh. That's probably one of the most over-tweeted cliche-teenage-phrase that I've ever read. Terlalu optimis kadang malah bikin segalanya terdengar lebih pathetic, be true sedikit lah, lo mau tersenyum atas berakhirnya hidup seseorang karena, "yaa untung lah dia pernah idup :)"? Oke terlalu ekstrim, but you got the point. 'Tho, too pesimistic isn't a good thing either. Solusinya? Ada yang bilang jangan selalu melihat ke belakang, tapi tetap aja -mengutip Sarah Deshita lewat omnibus Memoritmo-  what kind of heart doesn't look back ? That's super true. But in my own case people wud say to me, "what kind of person always looks back?!" Hahaha. Berhubung udah tanggal 30, just like what I always did, I decided to post some recount about what had been going on this past 11 months. Karena di akhir adalah waktu paling lazim dan normal untuk melihat ke belakang (alibi). T...

Recommended tracks: Constant Conversations, Take A Walk, I'll Be Alright, It's Not My Fault I'm Happy, On My Way, Hideaway, and all the rest lol. Gue ngga tau ini cuma gue atau semua orang punya kebiasaan yang sama, jadi setiap gue nunggu-nunggu suatu album release, pasti saat-saat waktu sebelum gue ngeklik play streaming online rasanya deg-degan banget and at some point I held my breath so deeply (?) Nah Gossamer ini salah satunya, sejak kecanduan Take a Walk pas Juni akhir, akhirnya pas bulan Juli associate editornya Nylon ngetweet abis dengerin full albumnya yang katanya epic abis. Jadilah gue membajak lewat internet terlebih dulu. And there I sat in front of my laptop, deg-degan meskipun nggak sedeg-degan pas #valtarihour, and click play. Dan...sepertinya yang udah gue koar-koarkan di akun twitter gue, they are always as great as they have ever been. Masih pumping happy electropop banget. Karena itu masih hawa liburan gue yang single dan pengangguran ini iseng pe...

Different time In the suburbs This time I come with silence Keeping the rhymes of honking horns Paradoxically filled the air Same heat of the sun, only denser I might run into you here, somewhere down the street And make fun about how the governor rule this place But I could barely looked outside my window Without sorrows of how your eyes may look at me From somewhere across the street Because this time we're all new This paranoia inside my lungs was somehow never there And you wasn't unlikely ignorant The traffic is as crazy as it was 'tho You used to cherished it and still came up with those passionate conversations All I got now is a back pain, seriously Funny it all went unfamiliar The crowd in your neighbourhood hasn't been changed But the thoughts of what I might found there is somehow different I was tending to leave and felt fine Before I asked myself those questions Am I imagined you all along? Cycling down the suburban road, listen to ha...

God I can't imagine I just titled my blog post with that Gotye's punchline like some insecure adolescent on twitter that refers to their ex or sumthin. I don't even have an ex nor boyf. Okay so that's the difference. I can't believe myself that cliché phrase is somehow meant a thing to me. -_- Senin dua minggu lalu -jangan tanya kenapa gue sampe inget waktunya- abis capek-capek kejebak macet pulang dari inten dan buka di jalan, pas makan malem, kayak biasa keluarga gue yang cerewet ngobrol terusss. Dan seperti biasa juga topik nggak jauh-jauh dari temen-temen gue / kakak gue. Yang gak biasa? Hari itu nyokap nanyain sesuatu tentang temen lama, yang -for heaven's sake- gue gatau kabarnya sama sekali sekarang. Gue bete, karena pertanyaan nyokap simpel dan general, tapi gue nggak bisa jawab selain ngomong "tau deh." Kayak semacam abg labil gue minggat dari meja makan secara smooth, nggak lari dengan dramatis (padahal ga ada yang peduli juga tis). Abis so...

Behold, fasten your seat belt, cause it's d-4 of......senior year. SAY WHAAAADDD. Horor coy... Selalu deg-degan sendiri ya bayanginnya, tapi mau gimana lagi :') udah di depan mata. Harus ambis nih, biarpun gue nggak ngerti gimana caranya jadi ambis, biarpun mau seambis apapun rapot semester 3&4 udah terlalu hopeless buat undangan, tapi yaudah lah ya. Dan gue masih bingung mau akuntansi, manajemen, atau teknik industri. Dan bingung kenapa pilihan gue susah semua huakaka. Nih ya kalo fti itb misalkan 100% undangan berarti gue tinggal backroll ke empang, berarti gue cuma bisa milih fakultas yang ada mandirinya since tertulis udah nggak ada. Masalahnya lagi minat gue kepecah di ipa dan ips, padahal gue ga bakal kuat ipc, dan dua-duanya fakultas favorit. Pokoknya gue cuma sanggup ipa atau ips murni. Berarti mesti mantepin salah satu dari itu... Parbet senin udah kelas 3 tapi arah idup masih gajelas. Istikharah deh... Bismillah. Anywaysss daripada stres sebelum waktunya (pa...

It was bright until the light is out There was laughter before turned into tantrums There was time filled with colors, then suddenly drowned by the cold monochrome Questioning, when you know what's the answer Taking guesses, when you know how that would end But you blinded by those things people say Finding comfort behind the mystery of time "Just so you wait, it will be worth" You failed to close your ears, so you let it controls your mind Patient, wasn't the key You wait anyway, with a forced guts You're under the spell, in which unrealistic is what makes sense Hope slowly eats you up inside And then the time has come All of your fears finally revealed Awaken by the bitterness So why so surprised? It's with you all these time So why feeling let down? You never moved an inch, it's where you belong All you could do is embracing the silence Staring to empty space Cause there's nothing left You've not been blind nor deaf You...

Ada dua hal yang memacu otak gue buat bacot nulis: bershower dan sendirian di TransJakarta wakaka. Bottomline: semakin sering gue sendiri, semakin bacot lah gue. Jadi kalo gue bacot di twitter dan blog (kayak akhir-akhir ini), that only explains one thing HAHA. Okay let's just not take my alone-ness too serious. Jadi kemaren, setelah ngesushi dan nonton madagascar 3 sama 3 cewek gila (re: arza acid laras) di setiabudi, gue pulang sendiri naik busway. Kemaren hari yang lumayan menyenangkan setelah hari-hari sebelumnya berasa sampis banget. We laughed a lot, so hard, that me and arza cried a bit hahaha. Abis transit di kuningan timur, akhirnya langsung kan tuh ke pinang ranti. Udah jam 5 tapi belom rame-rame amat jadi gue dapet duduk :') At one point, orang di sebelah gue turun dan ganti jadi orang lain. Gue baru asik-asik dengerin album BBC yang I Had The Blues But I Shook Them Loose, tiba-tiba si ibu sebelah gue nerima telepon. Hari itu dengan randomnya gue lagi make headphon...