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Abis tidur sore dan kebablasan sampe jam 4 pagi... padahal besok uas fisika LOL (bukannya panik belajar malah  nulis blog). Panik banget tadi bangun-bangun kerasa kalo udah tidur berabad-abad, gadget mati semua, terus ngeliat jam tangan udah jam 4 wkwkwk chaos. Pas hp nyala gue deg-degan takut ada berita apocalypse selama gue mati suri itu dan ternyata ga ada; cuma ada Aysha nyariin mau minjem external cd drive dan Egi nanya "ini orang tidur apa tewas?" + 1 missedcall. Udah gitu doang... Mungkin gue adalah spesies di ekosistem yang keberadaannya tidak diperlukan.

Anyway, I'm at the point where I really really REALLY HATE Bandung. Everything fall apart here, now, these days. It's the roughest time here and it feels like I'm gonna explode from all the pain and sadness. Bro once said that Bandung was gonna be damn rough for a spoiled brat like me, and I never listened to him until all these frustrations are finally killing me. I fucked up all of my exams and making it seems like I'm a total effortless kid for people. But I don't, okay? Well maybe it wasn't my best effort but I still work my ass off for those. Maybe living with myself is the main reason of how fucked up I am right now, maybe I haven't grown enough to took care my own self, maybe I just don't belong here. Maybe it's easier to leave and start over? Because most of the time I feel like I just had enough.

But then I remember how I was so thrilled about living in Bandung, I remember what it felt like being accepted in ITB, I remember the joy of other things that I get here aside my shitty academic stuffs, I remember LFM, I remember all the people that meant so much to me here -the new life that I just can't simply leave behind. Maybe it's time to grow up and choose to fight rather than leave. Waktunya menghadapi bukan meninggalkan masalah dan membuatnya jadi makin besar. God have reasons to put me here, and I believe that there'll always be gold in them hills.

So thank you, for coming along to this stupid-crazy-hectic life and making it way less rough than ever, for making it not-so-bad anymore, for being here when I could've just lose everything elses, for taking away the insecurities that eats me up inside, for becoming a damn great companion when my day sucks so bad, for adding one more reason for me to stay. Sorry if these first days wasn't our smiling-happy-moments (in fact I include lots of tears lol), I promise I'll fix these mess that I make and everything will be okay again.

"If you stay, then I will stay. Even tho this town is not what it used to be." -Adhitia Sofyan

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