Skip to main content

Life Reminder

One of my biggest weakness is probably this; kapan pun gue gadag dan senganggur itu gue pasti suka bengong, pikiran gue hobinya merenungi tons of things yang seharusnya nggak perlu direnungi, yang selalu pada akhirnya berlabuh ke more and more insecurities. I have this spacing out as an issue in my daily life, I guess... Masalah dari perenungan itu yang masih mengganggu gue lagi-lagi seputaran ini:


Some of my friends and families will probably only roll their eyes because I still can't get over this hahaha.

Pentrigger utamanya gini, jadi kemaren tiba-tiba dapet kabar kalo salah satu temen gue mau ngedrop ITB setelah setaun TPB ini demi banting setir dan nurutin passion dia di fotografi, jadi ya dia semacam sekolah fashion photography di only-God-knows-where, intinya pokoknya gitu deh dia memutuskan buat hidup kedepannya memperjuangkan passion dia. It dropped my jaw, literary. "Gila ini orang berani banget" "Ini ortunya kok bisa ngasih" dst tapi yang paling penting gue sangat sangat salut sama dia dan.....sangat sangat iri. Iri gimana dia dengan beraninya dan dengan pertimbangan-pertimbangan yang pasti banyak banget pada akhirnya memilih mengorbankan ego-titel ST-dan sebagainya demi passion dia, meanwhile gue sejujurnya kadang masih berada di tempat yang salah.

It hit me pretty bad actually, kepikiran mulu jadinya lagi-lagi tentang gue dan cita-cita ga kesampean gue buat jadi jurnalis atau bahkan sekedar penulis. I even kinda stop writing since...God gue lupa kapan terakhir gue menghasilkan tulisan yang proper, kayaknya jaman-jaman kelas 3 awal kemudian berhenti. Dulu pas jaman sbmptn gue masih sempet bikin flash fiction, tapi sekarang ngga sama sekali. I hate how my life bailed on my old self. Bahkan menyelesaikan draft-draft blog gue aja jadi susah, satu-satunya tempat gue masih aktif nulis cuma jurnal gue (or diary kalo kata anak-anak kosan), which is pretty lame.

Yaudah saking insecurenya kemaren gue sampe nanya di ask.fm/alkupra --accnya Alex Kusumapradja, senior editor NYLON Indonesia yang dengan sangat baiknya dijawab dengan jawaban yang sangat baik pula.

ini thread aslinya tapi gue males ngescreenshot: http://ask.fm/Alkupra/answer/113535642802

I always imagined myself to work on a magazine just like where you are ryt now. But parents and life bring me here instead, sekarang aku kuliah di FTI ITB haha. Any advice on keeping up with my own passion (which is writing) while I'm stuck in a totally different path?‎  tisya miranda

Keep on writing.
Untuk menulis kamu sama sekali gak perlu menempuh ilmu Jurnalistik atau Sastra. Asalkan jangan pernah membiarkan diri kamu lupa bagaimana asiknya membaca dan menulis.
Dewi Lestari? Hubungan Internasional
Ika Natassa? Ekonomi Akuntansi
Andrea Hirata? Ekonomi
Marga T? Kedokteran
Leila Chudori? Political Science
Mereka semua penulis yang berasal dari berbagai latar pendidikan. Tak hanya bisa mempertahankan passion menulis mereka, mereka bahkan memasukkan berbagai unsur dari background pendidikan mereka ke dalam tulisan mereka dan hal itu memberi warna yang khas bagi karya-karya mereka.








.
So relieving right hahaha. Sebenernya dari dulu bapak gue udah bilang meski dengan gayanya yang ngomel-ngomel "kamu tuh ya dibilangin kalo nulis doang mah sambil ngapain aja juga bisa!" terus gue misuh-misuh biasanya karena ngerasa ga dianggap serius, tapi ya in delicate way si Alex pointed out the same thing. Gue nggak seharusnya berhenti menulis, dimanapun gue sekarang. 

Kata-kata yang paling terngiang-ngiang dari jawaban dia itu bagian ini: "Asalkan jangan pernah membiarkan diri kamu lupa bagaimana asiknya membaca dan menulis."

I got slapped by words.

Itu dia yang jadi masalah gue, tepat pada kalimat itu. I let myself neglect all these things about writing and reading. Satu-satunya usaha gue buat tetep baca ya cuma rereading the same poems from Chairil's Hujan Bulan Juni, yang sifatnya cuma sebagai pengingat kecintaan gue dengan kata-kata, but I know it won't get me anywhere. It will take time but I guess I need to start to get back on writing before that part of me shut down completely. Dibilang kurang waktu sebenernya nggak terlalu, ya buktinya pas libur gini gue cuma bengong sama main hp doang... The biggest enemy is my mager self hahaha. Ya meskipun bentar lagi diklat jadi berarti semua energi yang on fire tentang menulis ini tetep harus disimpen sampe awal Juli... *antiklimaks*

Di akhir postnya si Alex ngasih ini:
 

Well then I should remind myself to it more often and also start to work my ass off to get myself on track. YEAHHH.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kata Lain di Balik Kata Lainnya

Kamu tau, kalau kamu selalu membuatku ingin berkata-kata? Meskipun hampir semua yang terlontar getir, tapi aku menyimpanmu dengan manis di antara lembaran kata yang tidak akan pernah kamu baca --yang kadang-kadang menggerogotiku dari dalam. Lebih baik tidak ada yang tau, termasuk juga kamu, karena memang tidak ada yang perlu tau. Dan sekonyol apapun ini terdengar, aku harap suatu saat kamu terbangun dari tidurmu, kemudian ada suatu rasa baru yang menyusup di rongga dadamu. Karena saat itu -untuk pertama kalinya- mimpi kita beresonansi. dari renungan sepanjang Cipularang
2 comments
Read more

Paradox

It all with hearts you’ll find the answers  You start to jump but the ground seems getting closer and,  up in the clouds is where you are  I hope the sky is where you find it all 
Post a Comment
Read more

So-called Holiday. Yawn.

Behold, fasten your seat belt, cause it's d-4 of......senior year. SAY WHAAAADDD. Horor coy... Selalu deg-degan sendiri ya bayanginnya, tapi mau gimana lagi :') udah di depan mata. Harus ambis nih, biarpun gue nggak ngerti gimana caranya jadi ambis, biarpun mau seambis apapun rapot semester 3&4 udah terlalu hopeless buat undangan, tapi yaudah lah ya. Dan gue masih bingung mau akuntansi, manajemen, atau teknik industri. Dan bingung kenapa pilihan gue susah semua huakaka. Nih ya kalo fti itb misalkan 100% undangan berarti gue tinggal backroll ke empang, berarti gue cuma bisa milih fakultas yang ada mandirinya since tertulis udah nggak ada. Masalahnya lagi minat gue kepecah di ipa dan ips, padahal gue ga bakal kuat ipc, dan dua-duanya fakultas favorit. Pokoknya gue cuma sanggup ipa atau ips murni. Berarti mesti mantepin salah satu dari itu... Parbet senin udah kelas 3 tapi arah idup masih gajelas. Istikharah deh... Bismillah. Anywaysss daripada stres sebelum waktunya (pa...
Post a Comment
Read more
I'll probably delete this later, all i know is that I need to pour this out right now My daddy always give me, my mom, and my brother a bar of chocolate on valentine's day, the one with the writings from the store so he shouldn't write anything on it anymore. Maybe for some, valentine's day is stupid lame silly whatsoever. I don't really into valentine's day too before, but when the moment's there, I always feel the warmth in my heart of how my family loving each other seriously and wholeheartedly. And now when I'm not there to receive any hugs or chocolates, I really miss that silly lame but cute tradition of my family. I got nothing here, nothing at all. I miss my family so fricking much it turns me into some pathetic lonely girl on saturday night. I've been meaning to call my mom but she's busy hanging out with dad tonight (and their friends). I want a love like that. If there's any love I want to have with my future husband, at least it h...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ordinary

Since you came along, my days are ordinary. We laugh just like yesterday, And I kiss you like the day before, And I hold you just like ordinary. Perhaps when the day is new, We'll find tomorrow is just ordinary too.
Post a Comment
Read more

Love Like a Sunset, Pt.II - Phoenix (Day 2 - Song with number on the title)

Salah satu lagu favorit gue sepanjang masa! Lagunya ngga sampe 2 menit karena lanjutan dari Love Like a Sunset, Pt.I yang lebih panjang. Ini kalo dibawain live kedua lagu tersebut indahnya ga karuan. Lebih suka part kedua karena membawakan emosi kelemahan gue, yang adalah acceptance . Musiknya melankolis dengan tetap terasa hopeful dan ga menye-menye. Pesannya juga sangat indah dan efektif disampikan dalam 1 menit 46 detik tersebut: [Verse 1] Acres A visible horizon Right where it starts and ends Oh, when did we start the end? [Verse 2] Acres A visible illusion Oh, where it starts, it ends Love like a sunset Di verse pertama, sunset diceritakan sebagai awal dari suatu akhir; alias lah kok tiba-tiba udah mau selesai hubungan ini?! Kemudian di verse kedua langsung masuk ke fase berterima, bahwa hal yang dimulai pasti akan berakhir juga. Bagi gue lagunya menggambarkan relationship / perasaan yang indah banget tapi cuma sebentar -dan masih indah until the very end. Jadi inget pernah dapet...
Post a Comment
Read more

Thermodynamics

I could spend all day watching you smile and listen to your stories because that's when everything finally felt right again. I'll be talking to you all day discussing silly million ideas to spend our holiday because I love how it makes me feel. I'll be at my room by the end of the day, figuring some thermodynamics shit while listening to your mixtape, and feel perfectly fine about the world. I wish it could go on this way everyday :p
Post a Comment
Read more

There Was No Funeral

June 25th 2024 They took the greatest love of my life away from me, but there was no funeral. They bathed and cleaned her corpse, and all I could think about was if they had took her lash extensions out. They buried her, but I stayed in the car. People cried, but no one hugged me, all that I had was my hand being held by my brother as we drove behind the hearse, Neil Young’s Harvest Moon was playing. I was already isolated for 2 weeks and thought that I would be rewarded by her embrace once it was all over. But there was none of it, it was pain and more pain and more pain. Only after 2 years I could finally cried it all out in somebody’s embrace, didn’t even realized how much I needed to let it all out —how badly I needed to be embraced. Because by the first year, the longing had eaten my insides little by little until there was almost nothing left of me. I don’t want to hold on to this pain forever, even if this pain is the only way I can keep my love for her alive. Because I’m done h...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Thought in Between The Talk

What are you looking for in a man?  Uhm, nothing? That's probably a stupid answer because, you know, I expect much on too many things. I grew up believing that my mind is a simple open book, tho it's actually a complicated maze.  What am I looking for in a man?  I thought I seek for nothing or perhaps I don't even know what I want and seek for everything instead. That's the reason of all our recent disagreements: each other's expectation doesn't meet our reality. Funny how I hate the love is greed a selfish little need line so much -yet I kept on proving it right. Maybe love itself is cruel? Or is it just the human nature taking its role? What's certainly true is that you probably (god my diction is so bad bcs it's certainly and probably in the same sentence) don't know what you got 'til it's gone. Because as you repeated your question: What are you looking for in a man, really? My mind went blank. You stared right into my eyes. Funny how I a...
Post a Comment
Read more