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Life Reminder

One of my biggest weakness is probably this; kapan pun gue gadag dan senganggur itu gue pasti suka bengong, pikiran gue hobinya merenungi tons of things yang seharusnya nggak perlu direnungi, yang selalu pada akhirnya berlabuh ke more and more insecurities. I have this spacing out as an issue in my daily life, I guess... Masalah dari perenungan itu yang masih mengganggu gue lagi-lagi seputaran ini:


Some of my friends and families will probably only roll their eyes because I still can't get over this hahaha.

Pentrigger utamanya gini, jadi kemaren tiba-tiba dapet kabar kalo salah satu temen gue mau ngedrop ITB setelah setaun TPB ini demi banting setir dan nurutin passion dia di fotografi, jadi ya dia semacam sekolah fashion photography di only-God-knows-where, intinya pokoknya gitu deh dia memutuskan buat hidup kedepannya memperjuangkan passion dia. It dropped my jaw, literary. "Gila ini orang berani banget" "Ini ortunya kok bisa ngasih" dst tapi yang paling penting gue sangat sangat salut sama dia dan.....sangat sangat iri. Iri gimana dia dengan beraninya dan dengan pertimbangan-pertimbangan yang pasti banyak banget pada akhirnya memilih mengorbankan ego-titel ST-dan sebagainya demi passion dia, meanwhile gue sejujurnya kadang masih berada di tempat yang salah.

It hit me pretty bad actually, kepikiran mulu jadinya lagi-lagi tentang gue dan cita-cita ga kesampean gue buat jadi jurnalis atau bahkan sekedar penulis. I even kinda stop writing since...God gue lupa kapan terakhir gue menghasilkan tulisan yang proper, kayaknya jaman-jaman kelas 3 awal kemudian berhenti. Dulu pas jaman sbmptn gue masih sempet bikin flash fiction, tapi sekarang ngga sama sekali. I hate how my life bailed on my old self. Bahkan menyelesaikan draft-draft blog gue aja jadi susah, satu-satunya tempat gue masih aktif nulis cuma jurnal gue (or diary kalo kata anak-anak kosan), which is pretty lame.

Yaudah saking insecurenya kemaren gue sampe nanya di ask.fm/alkupra --accnya Alex Kusumapradja, senior editor NYLON Indonesia yang dengan sangat baiknya dijawab dengan jawaban yang sangat baik pula.

ini thread aslinya tapi gue males ngescreenshot: http://ask.fm/Alkupra/answer/113535642802

I always imagined myself to work on a magazine just like where you are ryt now. But parents and life bring me here instead, sekarang aku kuliah di FTI ITB haha. Any advice on keeping up with my own passion (which is writing) while I'm stuck in a totally different path?‎  tisya miranda

Keep on writing.
Untuk menulis kamu sama sekali gak perlu menempuh ilmu Jurnalistik atau Sastra. Asalkan jangan pernah membiarkan diri kamu lupa bagaimana asiknya membaca dan menulis.
Dewi Lestari? Hubungan Internasional
Ika Natassa? Ekonomi Akuntansi
Andrea Hirata? Ekonomi
Marga T? Kedokteran
Leila Chudori? Political Science
Mereka semua penulis yang berasal dari berbagai latar pendidikan. Tak hanya bisa mempertahankan passion menulis mereka, mereka bahkan memasukkan berbagai unsur dari background pendidikan mereka ke dalam tulisan mereka dan hal itu memberi warna yang khas bagi karya-karya mereka.








.
So relieving right hahaha. Sebenernya dari dulu bapak gue udah bilang meski dengan gayanya yang ngomel-ngomel "kamu tuh ya dibilangin kalo nulis doang mah sambil ngapain aja juga bisa!" terus gue misuh-misuh biasanya karena ngerasa ga dianggap serius, tapi ya in delicate way si Alex pointed out the same thing. Gue nggak seharusnya berhenti menulis, dimanapun gue sekarang. 

Kata-kata yang paling terngiang-ngiang dari jawaban dia itu bagian ini: "Asalkan jangan pernah membiarkan diri kamu lupa bagaimana asiknya membaca dan menulis."

I got slapped by words.

Itu dia yang jadi masalah gue, tepat pada kalimat itu. I let myself neglect all these things about writing and reading. Satu-satunya usaha gue buat tetep baca ya cuma rereading the same poems from Chairil's Hujan Bulan Juni, yang sifatnya cuma sebagai pengingat kecintaan gue dengan kata-kata, but I know it won't get me anywhere. It will take time but I guess I need to start to get back on writing before that part of me shut down completely. Dibilang kurang waktu sebenernya nggak terlalu, ya buktinya pas libur gini gue cuma bengong sama main hp doang... The biggest enemy is my mager self hahaha. Ya meskipun bentar lagi diklat jadi berarti semua energi yang on fire tentang menulis ini tetep harus disimpen sampe awal Juli... *antiklimaks*

Di akhir postnya si Alex ngasih ini:
 

Well then I should remind myself to it more often and also start to work my ass off to get myself on track. YEAHHH.

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