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(Another) Year End Post

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
Bleh. That's probably one of the most over-tweeted cliche-teenage-phrase that I've ever read.

Terlalu optimis kadang malah bikin segalanya terdengar lebih pathetic, be true sedikit lah, lo mau tersenyum atas berakhirnya hidup seseorang karena, "yaa untung lah dia pernah idup :)"? Oke terlalu ekstrim, but you got the point. 'Tho, too pesimistic isn't a good thing either. Solusinya? Ada yang bilang jangan selalu melihat ke belakang, tapi tetap aja -mengutip Sarah Deshita lewat omnibus Memoritmo- what kind of heart doesn't look back? That's super true. But in my own case people wud say to me, "what kind of person always looks back?!" Hahaha.

Berhubung udah tanggal 30, just like what I always did, I decided to post some recount about what had been going on this past 11 months. Karena di akhir adalah waktu paling lazim dan normal untuk melihat ke belakang (alibi). There was so much going on yet it seemed like a year wasn't really as long as a year should be, kayak baru banget naik kelas 12, eh taunya minggu depan udah smt2, sicko!

Tahun ini buat gue adalah periode dimana banyak permulaan yang baru terjadi dan di sisi lain juga waktu beberapa hal berakhir, memories earned lessons learned things figured, meskipun kalo liat private blog ya isi 28/36 posts tahun ini topiknya sama (exc. songs and poems that related to it haha). What a waste of a year... Tapi gue harap sih lebih dari teenage-shitty-issue yang terlalu menjamur itu yaa seperti yang gue bilang tadi: memories earned lessons learned

dan dari ratusan foto mosaik ini arza sang dementor tetep paling mencolok...
.

Agaetis Byrjun
Itu persis judul postingan pertama gue taun 2012 (bukan di blog ini), judul album/single-nya Sigur Ros yang artinya: The Good Beginning. Wakaka betapa optimisnya gue. Atmosfernya persis kayak sekarang kan tuh, lovely rainy wheather. Meskipun setelahnya jauh dari kata itu, tapi awal taun 2012 tetep momen-momen paling menggembirakan buat gue, mungkin akan berlaku dalam timespan yang lumayan lama, mungkin aja kan who knows. 
Jamannya nonton The People's Party sama Foster The People, lumayan banyak undangan hajatan 17an wakak, terus jamannya hura-hura gabut kelas 11 yang kerjaannya ke sekolah cuma setor muka-absen-ngobrol-main ipad-(ehem) liat-liat 'pemandangan' sebelum pada lulus-jajan ke koperasi-ngegosip, ah pokoknya nggak pernah deh tuh meratiin pelajaran selain matematika Bu Pur dan selalu kalangkabut kalo tf udah di depan mata hahaha, terus kalo ngerjain pr selalu sebelum bel tadarus. Jaman-jaman gue punya aja waktu buat nulis, entah draft-draft yang nggak kelar itu ataupun dikejar deadline takitri, huwee I miss those :') 
It was a period of time when I felt so blessed and everything seemed so right, it even might be the first and only time when reality finally better than dreams and, once again, everything felt so right. You know those times when everything you did felt right, when every step you took felt so light, and pop songs finally makes sense? Bagi gue itu masanya. I'm sure you can guess what was going on during that period haha. Gue emang sedangkal itu rupanya...namanya juga remaja yegak wkwk.

Lost #ea
Lalu tai pun kembali terlihat seperti tai.
Ups pardon my French. Nggak lama setelah itu hari-hari gue dihujani pertanyaan "adek kenapa?" dan tiap hari ada aja orang yang pengen gue telen. Masa-masa baru ngerti kalo perfection itu beneran ada tapi bentaaaar banget. Rasanya pengen marah tapi gatau siapa yang salah. Shock kayaknya gue gara-gara semua mendadak ilanglanglang tanpa permisi jderjder. Mendadak gue jadi vulnerable abis sampe jijay markijay sendiri ngingetnya, terus udah reality ngga indah, tidur pun nightmare wakakaka. Berakhirnya masa jabatan di takitri my baby huhu. Udah gitu the shittiest of all, got rejected from one of my little dream: magang di Kompas. Bro udah ke tahap wawancara bro...trs dilepeh mentah-mentah gara-gara jadwalnya ga sesuai haftt I cried so hard alay ngetz... Ah jadi pengen nangis lagi. Tapi disamping itu pertengahan 2012 bagus kok, banyak libur karena kelas 12nya ujian macem-macem jadi hedon lagi deh :'D Liburan ke bandung berempat sama aysha arza acid terus ke Bali sama acid aysha (yang bikin gagal magang)~ Dopeee. Oh terus Nadik dapet Arsi UI wihuw. Abis itu juga kelas 11 lagi solid-solidnya ah sayang ipa i bgt lahh apalagi waktu FB8 ASC. Itu kayak "mono no aware" (frase jepang, males jelasin) kelas 11 gitu, yang sepertinya juga menandai akhir dari kebahagiaan masa SMA gitu bro... syo syad. Ah kangen kelas 11 dan Bali banget jadinya.

Outro
*lagu M83 berkumandang*
Nah iya gitu kayanya semakin ke akhir taun ritmenya sama kayak Outro-nya M83 datar...terus naik karena mono no aware lagi.
Mulai kelas 12, hidup cuma diisi kata bimbel dan belajar, terus mau ikutan ambis tapi selalu nggak bisa :'D Idup jadi semonoton itu: Try Out inten, TO at home seminggu, progress 1-2 minggu, TO lagi, dan diulang... Apa ya kayaknya emang gitu doang. Lalu hari-hari gue dipenuhi perdebatan "mau masuk mana" sama orang tua gue, "Mama maunya kamu ekonomi! tapi terserah kamu..." "Aku mau komas..." "Hah? Ga salah? Ngapain kamu lalalahoek" "Yaudah psikologi" "kamu kan terlalu perasa mana bisa lalalala" pffft yea rite 'terserah kamu'. Anyway, pasti atas kehendak-Nya juga gue masuk jurusan yang terbaik kan. Terus di akhir-akhir tahun ini gue (lagi-lagi) melewati kegagalan aha aha aha. Jadi ada lomba music journalism dari FEUI kalo menang dimuat di NYLON dan internship disana. Gila ini mah mimpi diatas mimpi. Kalo lo tanya kenapa gue lebih memuja NYLON daripada kompas jawabanya sesimpel "because they write their soul into it". Lebih paittt daripada ditolak cowo kali ye meskipun gue ga nangis sih kali ini....yaudahlah emang kemampuan gue belom seberapa.


Mungkin 2012 gue sangatlah datar dibanding 2012 anda-anda semua yang lagi baca, tapi percaya atau ngga 2012 beneran bikin gue belajar banyak. Yang gue yakin by the time the clock hits 00.00 in 2013 gue yakin gue udah lebih dewasa dari tahun lalu, pede kan gue. Dan banyak pelajaran idup *cailah* yang nggak bisa gue tulisin semua disini. Dua pelajaran yang paling besar dari tahun ini: 1.  Mimpi itu ada untuk dikejar, meskipun tahun ini belum berhasil bukan berarti gue loser. Someone taught me so much about dreams, dan yang gue tau kuncinya adalah kita harus berani; menghadapi kegagalan dan hal-hal lain menuju mimpi itu dan jangan menyerah kalo kata D'Masiv. 2. Dan yang nggak kalah penting adalah, meskipun dalam satu tahun ini banyak banget perubahan dalam hidup gue dan seberapa banyak pun orang yang walk in and walk out from my life, there'll always be these people who sticks around no matter what and how. And I love you guys so much ({})

And in the end of this post -in contrary of what I said in the prologue- I want to say that, rather than keep regretting the past and cry because it ends, in the end the only thing we'd better do is smile, no matter how cliche it sounds~

I SURVIVED 2012 AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Comments

  1. ykw tisy i really like the way you blog T u T enak banget baca tulisan lo!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. hehehe thank you cannnnnn :* :$

    ReplyDelete

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