A silent smile

There's these nights when you're not feeling well of all the sudden, completely alone in the room that's not exactly your room -which have no air conditioner but cold as fuck, your mom called and all the homesicks and sadness filled your lungs right away, you poured minyak kayu putih all over your body, you wished you could just sleep to shake away all the not-so-depressing-little-things that never fail to makes you feel like shit anyway.

--
Then he told me to come out because he's outside. And I could feel all the butterflies filling down my belly and Hoppipolla's intro playing inside my head as I see him standing there; smiling from the distance with a carton cup of hot chocolate on his hand -not more not pless-, walking towards me, and I always love the way he makes me feel like I'm the destination /fuck my stupid diction/ I love watching his every step when he's walking towards me, it's silly but whatever I love it. My eternal feeling of homesick is on pause each time he's around.

He handed me the hot cup and said -still smiling- that it would make me feel better, and just like that I knew that the rest of my suck night would finally felt right again.

Thank you for constantly doing cute things that triggers the fleeting happiness without even being asked. Ily.

"A silent smile, a private kind of happiness"

Comments

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Kamu tau, kalau kamu selalu membuatku ingin berkata-kata? Meskipun hampir semua yang terlontar getir, tapi aku menyimpanmu dengan manis di antara lembaran kata yang tidak akan pernah kamu baca --yang kadang-kadang menggerogotiku dari dalam. Lebih baik tidak ada yang tau, termasuk juga kamu, karena memang tidak ada yang perlu tau. Dan sekonyol apapun ini terdengar, aku harap suatu saat kamu terbangun dari tidurmu, kemudian ada suatu rasa baru yang menyusup di rongga dadamu. Karena saat itu -untuk pertama kalinya- mimpi kita beresonansi. dari renungan sepanjang Cipularang

2!

I WAS in the mood for a long post but then I failed in the first 30 minutes of trying to type a good intro. So I'll just make it short then. Terus kamu udah bobo terus jadi kentang kalo aku line. Yawdha noraque dikid disindang ach kya. Selamat tanggal 4 yang kedua, dear you, my most favorite sleepyhead :) Thank you for the tickling butterflies everytime you're around Thank you for always making me feel special and loved Thank you for the fleeting happiness that you give daily Thank you for today, for the flowers (yay flowers!), for the great times spent, for a lovely day once again PS: Thank you Gan Bei for kindly and accidentally played Bill Withers' Lovely Day during our dinner :") " Then I look at you And the world's alright with me Just one look at you And I know it's gonna be A lovely day"

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Bedroom Sadness #1

There are times when you almost believe that you've get through it When you thought that you've over it But when it all clicks, you'll lose again You lose again Like you lost yourself for too many times before Your wounded soul won't heal And those scars all over you, they laugh at you And you still wished for the help that never came Because eventually, you're always alone

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