bəˈnɑːnə

Tau yang lebih buruk dari sendirian, kehujanan, naik angkot, sendal jebol, dan payung rusak? Well let me tell you: Kehujanan, kejebak macet padahal praktikum tinggal 10 menit lagi, sepatu kerendem air, payung kebalik, TP basah, terlambat masuk praktikum, have to wear your soaking wet shoes pants and clothes for 4 hours, menunggu orang yang berjanji menemani makan tapi php setelah 2 jam lebih, celana yang baru dibeli ilang dan ga ada yang mau tanggung jawab, belum makan selama 14 jam terakhir. Itu, itu yang terburuk. Jadi makasih sudah mengambil andil dalam hari terburuk sedunia!

It all with hearts you’ll find the answers  You start to jump but the ground seems getting closer and,  up in the clouds is where you are  I hope the sky is where you find it all 

There are times when you almost believe that you've get through it When you thought that you've over it But when it all clicks, you'll lose again You lose again Like you lost yourself for too many times before Your wounded soul won't heal And those scars all over you, they laugh at you And you still wished for the help that never came Because eventually, you're always alone

Maybe it's just some phase Well it'd better be a phase The denial The torn in between deleting or not Whether adjusting to the situation, or recalling good things Flashback that wasn't that bitter, because really, it was never that bitter

Kenapa saya tidak boleh merasakan apa yang saya rasa Kenapa saya harus bungkam ketika kata memaksa untuk mengalir Kenapa saya harus memiliki keberterimaan yang tidak pernah mampir Kenapa saya harus ada ketika ingin tiada Kenapa saya Harus Kenapa

If lately my days in college are bad because of exams and tasks, I can only define today with: dreadfully awful. Jadi hari ini adalah harinya UAS Kalkulus III which is materinya sungguh mengerikan ditambah lagi sibuk menyelesaikan tubes TMP dan PPST di H-2 dan H-1 (crazy shit huh). Semalam sebelumnya gue sungguh depresi akan beberapa materi kalkulus yang belum kepegang karena waktu belajarnya keambil perhitungan LRP yang nggak ada abisnya dan menerjemahkan paper QFD. I took a bottle of frickin red bull (rrr..kratingdaeng) just to keep me awake all night and all morning and only got 3 hours of sleep. It got me depressed (I'm depressed all the time). I cried all the time too, and I keep it alone -duh, because everybody's used to my crying and probably be sick of it by now. Dan satu hal lagi yang menambah kedepresian hari ini: harus presentasi tubes TMP dulu jam 9-12 sementara ujian kalkulus jam 4, yang berarti membuang waktu belajar kalkulus sekitar 3-4 jam. Dan dimulailah ha...

It feels like I only go backwards darling, Every part of me says go ahead I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again Feels like we only go backwards darling