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Keberterimaan

Keberterimaan is such an underrated word.

Setiap ada yang curhat hal-hal cukup pelik yang belum ada solusi duniawinya, gue sering banget ngomong, "you gotta embrace the emotions" atau "lo harus bisa berterima aja", yang most of the time  malah dinyinyirin atau dinyolotin karena kedengerannya super klise dan "yaelah gampang banget lau ngomong". Things are easier said than done, that's for sure -but that doesn't make it less true.

Setidaknya buat gue.

Ketika semesta menghujani lo dengan berbagai tonjokkan bertubi-tubi, ketika secara emosyenel maupun fisikel lo semua diserang, ketika lo ngerasa hidup lo nggak mungkin bisa lebih sucks lagi tapi dibuktikan bahwa masih ada lagi state-state lebih rendah di hidup ini, ketika lo ngerasa lo kayak lagi dikutuk sampe berasumsi bahwa di hidup sebelumnya mungkin lo adalah seorang diktator berdarah dingin yang menyiksa kehidupan masyarakat, ketika rasanya kayak hidup di living hell, di titik itu pilihan lo cuma dua: marah atau berterima. Sebagai orang yang penuh resentment di dunia ini, tentunya reaksi pertama gue dengan ini semua adalah marah -semarahmarahnya. Lebih tainya lagi, kemarahan gue mostly adalah untuk diri gue sendiri, in which gue melakukan torture terhadap diri gue sendri yang mana sudah sangat emotionally tortured, yang sadar nggak sadar malah mengantarkan gue ke titik yang lebih rendah lagi di hidup ini.

Untungnya gue orangnya mudah lelah, jadi setelah menyalahkan diri gue sendiri terhadap semua ketaian dunia, lalu menyalahkan pribadi jahat w di kehidupan sebelumnya, lalu menyalahkan orang lain yang mungkin sedikit banyak berkontribusi terhadap ketaian ini, lalu marah sama segala earthly event yang ada, dan kemarahan-kemarahan lainnya, akhirnya gue capek. It is really tiresome to be angry and sad all the time, jiwa gue rasanya kayak diserap, tiba-tiba gue tau rasanya jiwa disedot sama dementor, gue yakin rasanya kurang lebih kayak gini. Respon pertama gue setelah gue capek dan ngerasa can't take it anymore, gue memaafkan diri gue sendiri dulu. Ada jutaan alasan kenapa gue benci banget sama diri sendiri, dan tiba-tiba it hits me kalo sepertinya orang yang paling benci sama gue adalah diri gue sendiri, yang mana secara logika rasanya kok nggak bener, plus kalo bener happiness is a state of mind gimana gue mau bahagia dengan logika kayak gini?

I forgive myself. I forgive people. I forgive life.

And that's where I learn to accept -and moving on for better things. Gue berterima bahwa I can't do anything much in this current state, other than to put my life back together and be okay. Cari kebahagiaan dari dalam diri sendiri, karena lo nggak bisa terus menggantungkan kebahagiaan lo di orang lain, karena ketika lo hit rock bottom ternyata nggak ada yang bener-bener selalu ada buat lo. Berterima dan berdamai sama diri sendiri, take a good deep breath, cuma diri lo sendiri yang tau apa yang bener-bener lo butuhin -dan iterasi terus sampe jawabannya bukan seputaran kehadiran orang lain, mungkin sesimpel good coffee, comfort food, atau good movie -things that you can control. Pray, communicate with The Higher Power and have faith that there're better plans for you. 

Apa dengan berterima hidup lo otomatis lebih baik? Hell no. Tapi menurut gue, dengan berterima jadi lebih banyak kesempatan buat lo membenahi hidup lo, meskipun nggak serta merta langsung ada banyak opportunity  di depan lo. One thing for sure, cara pandang lo terhadap dunia jadi berubah, dari lo ngerasa segala hal yang ditawarkan dunia buat lo tinggal tai -lo jadi sadar kalo there's much more in life than that narrow shallow point of view. Secara emosyenel juga at the very least, lo bisa menyimpan energi yang selama ini lo habiskan buat kemarahan-kemarahan lo, buat those fucking unnecessary tantrums, yang I swear to God bener-bener bikin melelahkan banget (kalo ada sejarahnya orang bisa mati karena emotions, kemaren mungkin gue udah beneran mokat).

Always remember that you deserved to be happy. Dan gue berharap state keberterimaan gue ini nggak cuma numpang lewat, semoga ketika gue mulai breakdown lagi gue bakal inget buat revisiting tulisan ini, dan semoga until then sensasinya masih sama.

For my future self: I really wish that you could find happiness in every situation, and that there aren't any points that're lower than February-March 2018 in your life.

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