bəˈnɑːnə

Maybe it's just some phase Well it'd better be a phase The denial The torn in between deleting or not Whether adjusting to the situation, or recalling good things Flashback that wasn't that bitter, because really, it was never that bitter

Kenapa saya tidak boleh merasakan apa yang saya rasa Kenapa saya harus bungkam ketika kata memaksa untuk mengalir Kenapa saya harus memiliki keberterimaan yang tidak pernah mampir Kenapa saya harus ada ketika ingin tiada Kenapa saya Harus Kenapa

If lately my days in college are bad because of exams and tasks, I can only define today with: dreadfully awful. Jadi hari ini adalah harinya UAS Kalkulus III which is materinya sungguh mengerikan ditambah lagi sibuk menyelesaikan tubes TMP dan PPST di H-2 dan H-1 (crazy shit huh). Semalam sebelumnya gue sungguh depresi akan beberapa materi kalkulus yang belum kepegang karena waktu belajarnya keambil perhitungan LRP yang nggak ada abisnya dan menerjemahkan paper QFD. I took a bottle of frickin red bull (rrr..kratingdaeng) just to keep me awake all night and all morning and only got 3 hours of sleep. It got me depressed (I'm depressed all the time). I cried all the time too, and I keep it alone -duh, because everybody's used to my crying and probably be sick of it by now. Dan satu hal lagi yang menambah kedepresian hari ini: harus presentasi tubes TMP dulu jam 9-12 sementara ujian kalkulus jam 4, yang berarti membuang waktu belajar kalkulus sekitar 3-4 jam. Dan dimulailah ha...

It feels like I only go backwards darling, Every part of me says go ahead I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again Feels like we only go backwards darling

Say, what have I become? Back in my highschool days, one of the obsessions for me to get in ITB was my bro's weird inaccurately yet promising words of "anak-anak ITB selera musiknya kayak kamu tau!". Long story short I got in, long story short I got nothin. Well, I turned out to have some concert companions tho, thanks to LFM yeay. But I am now undoubtedly listening to some new not-so-me songs all the frickin time I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY it gets worse after I lose my ipod. Shit. Well it's not so bad after all, is just that my jam was what made me, me. All the melancholic alternative indie rock has changed into some electropop hipster remixes. It's probably because I've settled with Le Boyfriend so that I'm now listening to happy pumping kind of songs.  And it's most likely because I Am that busy and the only provided non-mainstream songs around me was songs from my brother and my boyfriend and that I stopped discovering music and all my 8track's feed ...

The world is turning into a sentimental monochromic slow motion as the song comes on The rain is starting to pour down, the streetlights reflect from the puddle Your lukewarm ideal-sized hand reach mine, while you're doing what you always do best: smiling I rest my head on your shoulder, immitating Karen O's voice but ended up like a 2nd grader kid Still in slow motion, best 3:08 minutes of the day I wish I could cristalyze every beat - - I don't want this feeling to go away "It's a quiet, starry place / Time were swallowed up / In space we're here a million miles away"

Ketika malam dan kamu terlelap Bahkan pagi saat kamu ingin lenyap Semua sesak menyesap Ada yang memaksa diucap Sejak kapan kita mengucap perih, sambil merahasiakan rasa yang benar?