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June 25th 2024 They took the greatest love of my life away from me, but there was no funeral. They bathed and cleaned her corpse, and all I could think about was if they had took her lash extensions out. They buried her, but I stayed in the car. People cried, but no one hugged me, all that I had was my hand being held by my brother as we drove behind the hearse, Neil Young’s Harvest Moon was playing. I was already isolated for 2 weeks and thought that I would be rewarded by her embrace once it was all over. But there was none of it, it was pain and more pain and more pain. Only after 2 years I could finally cried it all out in somebody’s embrace, didn’t even realized how much I needed to let it all out —how badly I needed to be embraced. Because by the first year, the longing had eaten my insides little by little until there was almost nothing left of me. I don’t want to hold on to this pain forever, even if this pain is the only way I can keep my love for her alive. Because I’m done h...

 June 2nd 2024 You’re the first person I wanna see after a week of that nasty cold. I always love it when we go outside, sitting across each other, I mean skinships are the best but I miss looking at each other eye to eye; that little smile every time you teases me about random things, or the way you take candid pictures of me and my haemulsundubu.   The sky was clear, the sun was low. We walked across Mauerpark, didn’t hold hands because you were walking your e-bike with one hand and cold beer on the other. It’s been a while since our last Spazierengehen, it felt like the first dates all over again. And when we stopped at the Schönfließer Brücke, watched the sunset with shitty cigs, I swear we were about to kiss —but then these two guys stopped and told us that we are “God’s wonderful creatures”. And they asked us if we have ever eaten pizza with Jesus, you said, “with cheese yes, with Jesus never”. And it took us a while to realized they were Church missionaries but you have...